This cat's got balls
Some years ago I was working as a language assistant in Germany. One of the teachers invited me to her house and by way of making small talk, I pronounced as her tom cat walked into the room: Ihr Kater hat so schöne große Eier. In the ensuing shocked silence, I suddenly realised I had translated eyes as Eier. What I'd really said was "your tom-cat's got lovely big balls!"
Editor's note: This mistake is easily made. Eier sounds very much like "eyes" and means quite innocently "eggs" but is also used as a colloquial term for "testicl*s". Eleanor should have said Ihr Kater hat so schöne große Augen.
Sent by: Eleanor
Cathy, Superior, Montana 2009-09-09
Many years ago in a small intermediate German class at college we were discussing a short story about a soldier who was hiding and fearful of being discovered. The professor asked me what I thought the soldier would do if discovered, and I replied as simply as I could (my German still being rather rudimentary) that "er wird scheissen" to which the professor remarked, rather dryly, that he just might do that. I've got the ei wrong - it should have been er wird schIEssen, he'll shoot, not er wird schEIssen, he'll sh*t ...
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MoE, Landau (Bavaria) 2009-02-25
Some time ago I watched the movie James Bond "Golden Eye". Later that day I told my little brother (who was I think nine or ten years old) about the film. Of course he didn't know much about the English language but enough to translate "James Bond Golden Eye" into James Bond und das goldene Ei. That was quite funny because my parents only heard this last sentence and wondered what we were talking about.
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Paul du Lude 2008-12-05
Many years ago, one of my French student groups here on holiday arrived early to a Mystic Aquarium seal performance. After waiting some 20+ minutes, finally the lights dimmed, and here came the seals. The kids, in unison, exclaimed: Here come the seals! Here come the seals! ... in French! Voilà les phoques ! Voilà les phoques ! Ah, oui ! Que c'était formidable !
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Bettina 2008-03-19
Nobody seems to be aware that Eier is also used in German to refer to men's 'balls'. I guess some of the things you said were even more funny than you thought.
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Paul Lanciaux 2008-02-06
The same goes for French. As a French teacher in the USA, I have often chaperoned students on short vacations to France. One morning, on the métro, as I stood near one of my more eager students, she was very proud to announce to one of the native French passengers with whom my student had started a conversation, Ce matin, j'ai mangé un croissant et des yeux. It did not take her long to correct her hilarious blunder - she announced she had a croissant with "eyes" rather then des oeufs, eggs.
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Susanna 2006-06-16
I made the same mistake. I had an eye infection and I went into a chemist shop and explained that I had an infection in meine Eier - my eggs. To his credit, he didn't smirk; he just sold me some eye drops.
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Martin 2005-12-11
Sylvia's German friend was a millenium or so too late. Ei used to be the English term for an egg, and the word 'egg' was only used in the 'Danelaw' parts of Northern England that had been settled by Scandinavians. There is a story of a Northerner visiting Saxon London and asking to buy an 'egg', to the total incomprehension of the shopkeeper!
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Silvia 2005-10-05
On her first visit to London, my German friend ordered cooked breakfast, including "two fried eyes, please!" She must have thought of the German word Eier, eggs.
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Janet 2005-10-24
I think the best word in German is Spiegeleier, mirror eggs. Fried eggs do look like a mirror.
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Gary 2007-03-12
When first learning German, I used to think of the words for eye & egg as being virtual opposites from the English words; eye for an egg, egg (Auge) for an eye. It certainly helped me.
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