Your brain is a Tesla. When its battery becomes depleted, it needs to stop and recharge. You know the feeling when your power is draining down, but you don’t always know how to replenish it. Many of us grab our phones for a ‘quick’ doom scroll or a game of Geometry Dash. Others eat a cookie. This behavior is understandable, but it’s not helpful.
“Most of us don’t spend hours scrolling through social media because we think it’s a good use of our time; we do it because we are looking for the stimulation we need to function,” says Jessica McCabe, the creator and host of How to ADHD, a popular YouTube series, and author of the new book How to ADHD (#CommissionsEarned). “Unfortunately, the quick and easy sources of dopamine we tend to turn to often aren’t enough to satisfy that need. Or we hit the pleasure button on the same activity so many times, it stops being as fun.”
ADHD brains have lower-than-average levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that regulates the body’s pleasure and reward systems. As a result, dopamine-increasing behaviors are even more gratifying to ADHD brains.
“Concerns about time or consequences are dwarfed by the pursuit of pleasurable reinforcement,” explains Ellen Littman, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist. “These dopamine-deficient brains experience a surge of motivation after a high-stimulation behavior triggers a release of dopamine, but in the aftermath of that surge and reward, they return to baseline levels with an immediate drop in motivation.”
As this cycle continues, individuals with ADHD can spend hours doing an activity they don’t really enjoy.
[Get This Free Dopamine Menu Template]
This is like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it, says Eric Tivers, LCSW, ADHD coach, CEO, and founder of ADHD reWired.
“Water comes into the bucket as fast as it goes out,” says Tivers, who discussed the dopamine drive of ADHD brains with McCabe in the How To ADHD video, “How to Give Your Brain the Stimulation It Needs.”
When dopamine is dipping, how can you resist the impulse to scroll it back up? “Just like it’s hard to make really good food choices when you are already hungry, it’s really hard to make good dopamine choices when you’re already low on dopamine,” McCabe says. “A person with ADHD has to figure out what those choices are, weigh them, figure out the steps involved, then initiate them, and, because the more satisfying dopamine choices usually take longer to set up, they have to tolerate the distress of being bored in the meantime.”
The solution, Tivers says, is to separate the planning from the choosing with a dopamine menu or ‘dopamine’ — a curated list of options that lightens the mental load of finding pleasurable, healthy activities to stimulate us when we need it most.
[Self-Test: Do I Have ADHD? ADD Symptoms in Adults]
McCabe suggests structuring your dopamenu with courses like a restaurant menu. Instead of ordering food, you select healthy, energizing activities from your menu, which is not
- a to-do list
- a cure for ADHD or burnout
- an alternative to medication or therapy
How to Build a Dopamine Menu
1. Design Your Dopamenu
First, brainstorm activities that typically boost your mood without inducing a hangover of regret or RSD. Then, slot the items into the appropriate menu categories (see below). If you’re stuck for ideas, check out the suggestions from McCabe and ADDitude readers.
Appetizers or starters. McCabe defines these as quick activities that don’t suck you in but still provide a burst of dopamine, such as
- one minute of jumping jacks
- drinking a cup of coffee
- listening to a favorite song
- eating a snack
- doing a few stretches or yoga poses
- taking a warm shower
- working on a crossword puzzle
“The bird feeder attached to our window is a surprising appetizer. There’s enough variety of birds in our yard that come at random intervals to give me a tiny burst of excitement, especially when my husband and kids are home because hearing their excitement is also a boost.” — Ariana
“Hugging my dog.” — An ADDitude reader
“A 30-second cold water blast at the end of my shower every morning gives me a quick boost.” — Bex
“Singing along to a song with familiar lyrics gives me an extra dopamine hit and occupies the part of my brain that isn’t focused on the task in front of me.” — Amanda
Entrées or main courses are more time-consuming activities. “These activities excite me and make me feel alive,” McCabe says. Potential entrée ideas are:
- playing an instrument
- filming a TikTok video
- walking the dog
- exercising
- journaling
- cooking or baking
- working on a hobby (e.g., needlepoint, crochet, coin collecting, etc.)
“My entrées are going for a brisk walk, listening to fast-paced music, and having an engaging conversation with friends.” — Amanda
“Puzzles. If I have the time and space, working on a jigsaw puzzle helps get my dopamine flowing.” — Sarah
“Taking a quick nap.” — Bethany
Sides are things you can do simultaneously to make boring tasks more stimulating, like
- listening to white noise
- playing a podcast
- using a fidget
- making a task more challenging, i.e., turning an activity into a game by setting a timer to see how fast you can accomplish a job
- enlisting a body doubling
“I love different ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) videos. If I need to be on the computer for a while, I’ll play one in the background.”— Elizabeth
“I have a few specific playlists (Happy Music, Good Energy, Latin American, etc.) that I reach for when I need to cook, shower, or do a task that is hard for me. I put in my headphones or turn up the volume on my speakers, and usually, the energy comes sneaking in as soon as I begin to smile, sing along, and feel like dancing.” — Michelle
“I prefer to listen to audiobooks that are interesting enough to keep my attention but don’t require so much focus that if I miss a sentence or two, I’ve lost the thread. Cozy mysteries fit the bill, especially a series where I am already familiar with most of the characters. I can listen while doing all sorts of normally un-fun stuff.” — An ADDitude reader
“I’ve found that mildly upbeat instrumental music not only puts me in a good mood but also creates a soundtrack for whatever I’m working on and a good pace for getting things done. It’s very reinforcing!” — Seth
Desserts often include activities that are easy to overdo, in part because they are easily accessible and provide a quick hit of dopamine. “It’s fine to eat dessert sometimes,” McCabe says. “It’s just good to be aware of when that’s what we are ordering because if that’s all we are eating, we’re probably not going to feel great.”
Examples of ‘desserts’ include:
- scrolling through social media
- texting
- spending time with someone who’s not really present
- watching TV
- playing video games by yourself
“Playing Candy Crush!” — Bethany
“Watching Reality TV shows.” — An ADDitude reader
“The New York Times game app.” — An ADDitude reader
Specials. McCabe also recommends creating a separate menu for ‘specials,’ that includes occasional, bucket-filling activities that may be less convenient, more expensive, or require planning. Items in this category may include:
- attending a concert
- taking a vacation
- going out to dinner
- seeing a play or comedy show
- visiting a nail salon
- getting a massage
2. Streamline Your Options
After completing your list of menu options, omit any that aren’t realistic for ADHD brains. “Whatever is on your menu should be something you’d actually ‘order’ and something you can actually ‘make,’” McCabe says. “Restaurants always take stuff off their menus; so can we.”
3. Prep Your Ingredients
“Restaurants prepare everything they reasonably can ahead of time, and we can do the same,” McCabe says. Prepping a menu idea makes it easier to accomplish. For example, McCabe puts her guitar on a stand near the couch so it’s visible and easily accessible. After watching TV at night, she switches to a YouTube workout video, so it’s the first thing she sees when turning on the TV in the morning.
4. Implement Barriers
McCabe encourages enforcing barriers to less healthy activities. The idea, she says, is to increase the number of steps involved in doing the things you want to avoid and to decrease the number of steps involved in completing your Dopamenu items. For example, McCabe put her phone charger away from her couch and deleted a social media platform from her phone. Before she can grab a snack, she must roll a D20 die and do whatever exercise matches the number from a list she keeps.
5. Play with Dopamenu Marketing
Most menus include enticing descriptions to get you to order, so should a dopamine menu. “You can make your dopamine menu pretty or funny,” McCabe says.
Make the final version visible and accessible. McCabe posts her dopamine menu on her coffee table, refrigerator, and office wall. Her phone’s lock screen displays a mini version. “Now, when I pick up my phone, I can see my other options,” she says.
Dopamine Menu Troubleshooting
If you get stumped when it’s time to ‘order,’ consider using a random choice generator website. You type in your options, and it selects one for you.
Using a dopamine menu doesn’t mean suddenly transforming your habits. “There’s something to be said about the familiarity, especially when we’re going through a crisis,” McCabe says. “But by preparing a menu in advance, we’ll have more options available when we need them.”
Struggling to develop dopamenu options could point to a more serious issue. “If you don’t know what you like anymore, then it’s time to see a doctor because the issue could be depression,” Tivers says.
Your Feelings Are Valid: Next Steps
- Read: 7 Self-Defeating Behaviors That Aggravate ADHD – and How to Fix Them
- Learn: The Dope on Dopamine Fasting: Expert Answers to Your Digital Detox Questions
- Read: Wasting Time on Social Media? 6 Ways to Stop ADHD Brains from Doom Scrolling
- Download:Get Control of Your Life and Schedule
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