The Queen and her prince
Going back millennia, many historians trace the very earliest tradition of wearing black at funerals to the Roman Empire . Citizens there would mark a person's death by switching their normally white toga for a black one.
But the most recent tradition of wearing black at funerals, in the UK at least, is thought to have been inspired by Queen Victoria . The monarch was something of a style icon during her reign, and people took careful note of her wardrobe choices, often choosing to copy them.
When her beloved husband Prince Albert died in 1861, Queen Victoria wore black at the funeral, and continued to wear black mourning veils for the remaining 40 years of her life. (In fact, she never wore her crown again, because she didn't want to take off the veil.)
So lots of people emulated Queen Victoria in wearing black for funerals, as well as during extended periods of mourning for months, sometimes years, after the death of a loved one.
From fashion to rule
From its nineteenth century origin of people simply copying their queen's style, the tradition of wearing black to funerals became so widespread that it became a rule of etiquette .
Right through until the mid-to-late twentieth century, your choice of funeral dress was perhaps best summed up by automotive pioneer Henry Ford's famous comment about the colour options available to buyers of his Model T car: "You can have any color, as long as it's black."
Peer pressure and societal 'norms' were strong reasons for people to wear a uniform colour .
But wearing black also has practical benefits at a funeral.
Understatement
Some people continue to wear black at funerals for reasons of 'playing it safe'. Fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld once said of black dresses, "one is never overdressed or underdressed," and this applies to most formal black clothing. It treads a fine line between making it clear you've taken the occasion seriously and "tried", while not risking being seen to upstage anyone by trying too hard. This is a balancing act many of us experience when choosing what to wear to a wedding, too!
The fact that a funeral is often a charged, sensitive occasion makes it all the more desirable in many cases to avoid causing offence or disapproval.
Aside from peer politics, imposing a 'uniform' on a funeral can have the simple effect of focusing attention on the task at hand, ie remembering a loved one. If choosing clothing is predetermined, there's less to distract people before, during or after the service.
There are funerals, too, which simply have a more formal air than others, such as state or official funerals. It's likely black will continue to be worn to occasions like these.
Zoe's story
For Zoe, a designer based in London, only one colour felt right for her Grandma Peggy's funeral, and it wasn't black. "I always knew I would wear green," says Zoe. "I don't think I ever considered wearing black or was bothered by any traditions. Grandma was born on Halloween, and this as well as an unsettling ability to predict things, earned the lifelong belief in our family that she was a witch. Naturally, witches being green – and her love and association with the colour green – followed suit.
"I've never seen anyone get more excited and happy than when my Grandma would see me wearing green. Even when her memory was fading, she could always recall a green item I'd worn, and would ask me when I was wearing it again. It was only right to honour her by picking the most nauseously green dress to wear at her funeral. Not only did it make my Grandad crack a half-smile, but wearing it felt like I was showing her an outfit she'd love for the very last time."
Light at the end of the wardrobe?
Funerals across the UK are becoming more colourfully-attired affairs. This partly reflects an increasingly multicultural society; in Hinduism, for example, white is actually the traditional choice of colour to wear to a funeral.
India-based online wellbeing hub Yajnamuc explains , "White derives its meaning from the sun and moon's light. It represents the purity of the soul and our wish to pray for the departed soul's Moksha (enlightenment). White reflects all other colours and energies, so at a funeral, wearing white wards off ill effects by reflecting bad energies around us. It's also associated with peace and respect, so wearing white can represent respect towards the deceased and their loved ones. It's calm, peaceful and gives the eyes a feeling of comfort."
Away from religious ritual, today's society encourages a greater sense of individualism than ever before too. Funerals these days can sometimes be more of a personal expression from beyond the grave, by someone who would rather be celebrated than mourned. For example, a recent Co-Op Funeralcare survey found that over a fifth (22%) of respondents would like mourners to wear bright colours.
It would have been fairly unthinkable in the small-c conservative world of 1950s Britain to attend a funeral dressed as a character from a Hollywood film, or indeed to play rock 'n roll music at the service. Whereas nowadays it's not uncommon to see mourners listening to The Clash, dressed in colourful casual wear, or even fancy dress like Star Wars characters (admittedly a Darth Vader outfit could be seen as a formal black colour choice though).
The most outlandish funeral attire choices still sometimes make newspaper headlines . But this is generally out of a sense of curiosity, even admiration, rather than the sort of moral outrage that might have greeted that kind of dress in the past. We have, in essence, reinvented funerals as whatever we want them to be.
And, as we get better as a society at talking about death, dying and bereavement – and recognising that everybody's experience of these things is unique – that seems like a positive thing.
